The news I thought I would never hear

I Thought I would let you all know that my wife had decided to end our 27 year marriage. Must have been my Elvis impersonation that was the last straw for her ….. How can I joke around at a time like this? Anyway, turns out she had made her decision several weeks before SSD 33, so it could not have been that.

Red Dot Time.

I began to feel an extreme sense of release \ relief wash over me as she explained why she was leaving the marriage. She did a good job of describing the ugly \ the Edom in me. Even though much of her perception of who I am and what I have done has some truth …. Ok, a lot of truth to it …. Or is it just lies \ exaggerations about me that Satan has convinced her of and wants me to believe as well? Scott said in the Relational Sin part of this blog “Wow, there are parts of me that are ugly. However, they do not define me!” As I penned a response to Scott, God gave me this verse:

(Zec 3:1-4)
Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The LORD said to Satan, "The LORD rebuke you, Satan! The LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?" Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, "Take off his filthy clothes." Then he said to Joshua, "See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you."

I was a burning stick snatched from the fire, I was standing in filthy clothes before God and Jesus said to me: Ron, look! I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you!

I am asking that all of you please pray for my wife, that God would break her so that she would find her security and significance from God. Please pray for me that God would continue to break me.

I will not believe Satan's lies!
God is still Good!
God is still on His Throne!

My SSD Experience by Lisa Leeper

Here's a link to what I wrote to my non SSD friends: http://lisaleeper.blogspot.com/2009/10/terrible-wonderful-week.html

I miss all of you! Thanks again for loving me well.

Grace and peace,

Lisa L.

Relational Sin

I’m slowly becoming more aware of relational sin.

Last night when I was lying in bed with my granddaughter Olivia to help her get to sleep. After about an hour I started getting frustrated with her and wanted to throttle her. She refused to go to sleep and she was so stinking tired. I could feel the impatience rising in my chest.

I asked myself “what’s this about?,” and I realized that my sense of entitlement had surfaced. I had been caring for her all day and it was “my time” now. She wasn’t cooperating and I was going to have to lay there even longer. It was all about me. So I confessed it to Jesus, and then thought about how patient he is with me when he’s waiting on me to “get” something or do something. I’m reminded of how He gives up everything for me at all cost to himself.

The “new” thing about this story is that never before would I have seen my impatience with Olivia as relational sin. It’s just what happens when babies don’t cooperate with adults. We get frustrated and weary. It’s normal. Now I see that it’s sinful. I can’t say that I’m full of remorse, but at least my head is now going in the right direction and hopefully my heart will follow close behind. Relational sin. Hmmmm.

Brokeness

On the first night of SSD, Larry Crabb read from an article I wrote on brokeness. Here's what I had sent him with my application:

I’m broken.

Not the humble kind of broken, but the defective kind of broken.

I wanted to have it all together. Do all the right things. Be a good wife. Good mother. Good Christian. Good toastmaster. Model woman. I applied myself to self improvement books, expanding my mind, learning about human nature, improving my relationships.

I tried really hard to ignore my desires and put other’s needs above my own.

For many years, even though life wasn’t perfect, it did seem rather charmed.Rick and I had good, fruitful ministry. We had nice homes, cars, schools, opportunities. The children were well behaved and had character.I never really saw our brokenness. My brokenness. I realized I had faults but it’s not the same. Brokenness –defectiveness is . . .

to contine this story click this link http://omasthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/10/brokeness.html

reflection from part of my journey at SSD

Hi there SSD family - and OMA (smile) Kinsey - thanks for doing this. Hey - who got a snack at 10:30 this morning!! Hope you are all doing well and reentering life at home! Miss you all.

here is the entry as I had posted on my blog:
I woke up this morning - at the same time I woke up all week in Colorado Springs - but I didn't need to grab my binder, my notebook and most of all my Bible..... at least not for class. School of Spiritual Direction - who would have thought that it would have been so incredibly hard but so incredibly wonderful. I think I have already begun to mourn the fact that I have had to say good-bye to our "little family of SSD class 33" who were in intense relationship last week - that we would grow to love one another and become a "community" in the true sense of the word. A community that Dr. Larry Crabb talked about in one of the books we read prior to going - Becoming a True Spiritual Community. Honestly, I think every person, every church board of elders and councils and whatever else church leadership teams call themselves - this should become a MUST READ.

It really doesn't matter if you . . .

to continue this story please go to www.thoughtsfromacountrymouse.blogspot.com

Re-Entry

How does it feel to be at home again? I posted on Facebook the following comment: "I feel like I've been in Narnia for a week and have just stepped back through the wardrobe into the real world. I want to be back in Narnia!"

On the way to the airport, I said to my fellow travelers, "This changes everything!" Do you feel the same way? What changes for you?

Welcome to the SSD Class 33 Blog!

Hi everyone! I trust your trips home were safe and uneventful. It was a rich time together in CO. Many of you have expressed interest in staying in touch. I'm wondering if a blog format would be a great way to chronicle our journey of spiritual formation . . .hence I'm setting up this blog and have invited you all to be authors. All that means is that you can post your own story, news, or pictures at anytime. Only students of SSD class 33 can post, but others can read.

Let's see how this works.
I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Blessings,
Kinsey